Tired...

I'm about to rant so if you don't want to read it this is the warning..
I'm tired of being the one who has to wait to be second, I'm tired of having to see if I am important enough to hang out with or want to be with. I'm tired of not being flirted with like we use to or just plain hearing I'm sorry to not being flirted with. I want to be loved, I want to be important & I want to matter!! I'm no longer that girl he loved so much or looked at with endearing thoughts. Never claimed to be an angel but I try to be nice & treat people as I want to be treated. It never seems to work for some reason, I try so hard ..
I just sit, pray & cry. I wear my heart on my sleeves to where it gets hurt so much and so often..Remind me of how you are suppose to talk to a woman..with care, love maybe endearing words. I must say actions speak louder than words

Boundaries.....

As children we're given boundaries from our parents. What not to do & what we should do..what's polite or what is rude..but what about as adults?
As adults we make our lives more complicated. From everyday relationships to acquaintances ...how we conduct ourselves...With some of our relationships we're very open , honest & wear our hearts on our shoulders. With others we are guarded, unsure..why is that? Why is it we are so much more open with certain people than others..Some times when we first meet a person we all ready know that we can trust them we automatically know and for others we are guarded and unsure. If we are unsure why do we still persist with those relationships..Is it to remind us of what characteristics to be cautious of...maybe show our children that it is good to be around all types of people no matter what their background is..Either way there seems as adults our boundaries become blurry.....but we make our relationships more complicated than it should be..One thing for sure is we lose our honesty, goodness & innocence as adults as we get older....
Just a thought...

Distance

I'm standing in the dark reaching my hands out to you. The tips of my fingers barely grasp onto you but just as quickly as I grabbed on you were gone. Stepping slowly trying to be careful in the dark wishing I could see just a spot of light through the dark. Then I see your face staring at me. I feel hopeful again but then you are whispering something..I can't make it out & then you're gone again. I feel the warm tears dripping down my face, I just sit in the dark and wait.....

Honesty.....

The last few days have been rough. I just want honesty...I'm a very open person. When I am with someone I tell them everything but I've been told.."there's just a too honest" Where in our lives does this apply too? Don't we tell our children to tell us the truth no matter what? 
Honesty is....a way we can prevent from being hurt from finding out from someone else...a way to know how the other person really feels about us.....the truth....a way to see if someone is just settling...a way to see if your siginificat other still loves to flirt with someone other than you....
Words are a lot to say but it's the actions that really count. Like being open is to open every part of your life to that one person. There's no need to delete messages, hide text messages, change passwords...if there's a need theres something to hide, you're embarrassed, or you just plain don't want that person in that part of your life. 

Please be kind, open & honest with the ones that matter the most. Not push them away cause once you push too far it may be too late to repair that relationship. Love them as much as you can, words hurt & can't be taken back. Words are never forgotten, words cut deep & makes scars that can never be healed. So be kind, open, honest & loving. It's amazing what happens when you treat people with those charcteristics.